I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize