In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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