remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize