I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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