I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
