she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
