new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Randomize
