Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
