Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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