i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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