I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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