is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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