We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
