he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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