just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
