Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
