i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
