I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
