the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The air was thick with penises
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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