I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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