He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
