matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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