her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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