His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
