you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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