My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
