dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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