My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
