I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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