Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
