whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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