You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
