Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize