I didn't shave. On purpose
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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