Cold hands, warm shart.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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