I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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