Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
