he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
