he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize