Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
