You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
