just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
