the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
