question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
