You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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