I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
