I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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