how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
