I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
