i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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