we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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