I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
