Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize