my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
