Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
