He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize