Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
