this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize