someone get that fucking seahorse.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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