U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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