Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
