The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
