they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize