Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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