In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
