Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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