Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize