Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
