All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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