I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
