God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
