Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
