Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
