Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
