Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
